Because Valentine’s day was coming up, we at What’s A Geek decided to figure out which Waifu is the best one to take out on a date. It didn’t end well. Here are the staff of What’s A Geek and their waifus, defending their otome values and why your waifu is just trash. You don’t have to agree with them, but you have to admit: there’s a lot of waifu love here, and also maybe a lot of salt…
FemShep from Mass Effect, Emile’s Waifu
N7 Spectre and savior of the galaxy, Commander Shepard♀ is clearly best waifu. She can look any way you want her to. She can even be a guy, if that’s your orientation. Her personality will match your desires – hard-ass Renegade or noble Paragon. A whole selection of powers and abilities can make her into a one-woman fire team. She can be a hard-hitting vanguard on the front lines or a stealthy Infiltrator picking off mooks one by one. She’s charismatic enough to negotiate with alien species and willing to potshot nosy reporters. Not even death can stop this waifu, with a little Cerberus help. And it’s a fantastic bonus that Garrus Vakarian, Liana T’soni, Wrex Urdnot, Tali’Zorah nar Rayya and other heroes of the galaxy are her drinkin’ buddies. FemShep will race with you into the maws of hell and be laughing all the way.
Did your waifu save the entire galaxy from millennia-old civilization destroyers? I don’t think so. Is your waifu open enough to have kinky sex with aliens? Uh-uh. Is your waifu voiced by the brilliant Jennifer Hale? Maybe, and that’s closest she’ll ever get to being as awesome as FemShep.
Yoona from Girls’ Generation 소녀시대, RMonster’s Waifu
First of all, my waifu, Im Yoon A, is real. That alone makes me win this whole war thing.
Yoona, the visuals of Girls’ Generation has done so many things that it would be hard to count! She is one of the most popular girls in South Korea and Asia now because of her stunning beauty and amazing X-line! But what really propelled her into the spotlight was the million CFs that she has! Ranging from makeup, island parks, oil and gasoline, contact lenses and chicken. Weird playlist, I know, but it just goes to show that Yoona is so popular and well-loved that people NEED to see her on TV all the time! Yoongbb has also starred in lots of K-dramas, some of which have even landed here in the Philippines. She also has been featured in many variety shows, my favorite is when she teaches us how to cook! Yoona has it all: beauty, body, voice, dancing, acting and so much more! She is truly best waifu!
Alexandra Trese from Trese, Huhsmile’s Waifu
Alexandra Trese is too cool to be anyone’s waifu. The beautiful, Aswang-kicking, Santelmo-conjuring, Curse-breaking Alexandra Trese is too mysterious, too noir, and too dangerous to be tied down to anyone who can’t keep up. But if I were to choose who to get stuck with for the duration of my residency in the Philippines, it would definitely be her. A buddy of mine said that Alexandra Trese has an 8-pack. That Alexandra Trese was shredded. And they were probably right. She probably does have an 8-pack. Creatures of the dark fear her, and creatures of light respect her. Alexandra Trese is the bae of all baes and I’d risk being surrounded by aswangs if it meant I could get to hang with her.
Elle Ragu from Shadow Skill, RJ’s Waifu
Elle Ragu is the 59th Sevaar of Kuruda ands she’s here to kick all of your waifu’s asses. Famous for her Martial Arts Language “Shadow Skill”, she became the first and youngest female Sevaar at the tender age of 14. She’s brash, hot-headed and drinks like a sailor. Where she goes, destruction and property damage follows; fighting is all she’s good for after all. But this isn’t a beauty pageant, this is Waifu Wars. And Elle will crush all of your sissy 90lb waifus between her sexy biceps. Elle Ragu is best waifu. Elle Ragu is Invincible.
Clara Oswald from Doctor Who, Roninvampire’s Waifu
Clara Oswald is arguably the best (and most useful) companion of the Doctor (at least in the NuWho series). She’s a school teacher by day, and a time travelling adventurer by… well… any damn time because time is irrelevant!
She’s cute, charming, dressed nicely, and undeniably gorgeous, but she’s more than just a pretty face. She’s smart, feisty, and can match wits (and sass) with the Doctor himself or any other creature that they face in their travels across the time and space.
Far from a damsel-in-distress, she can hold her own and has saved the Doctor (and the universe) lots of times, literally–as in she has saved him at least once in each of his regenerations because her “echoes” are scattered throughout the Doctor’s timeline. She has fought the biggest and baddest that the universe can throw at her. Admittedly, not single-handedly, but when you’re facing the most dangerous beings in all of reality, you’ll need all the help you can get.
Oh, and lest we forget (SPOILER ALERT!), she’s functionally immortal (time-locked at a point in between two heartbeats, which will be released once she returns to Gallifrey four and a half billion years into the future) and hangs out with another true immortal (Me/Ashildr, played by Maisie Williams) in their own TARDIS.
She’s one and she’s everything; she’s here and she’s everywhere–in all of time and space; she’s the Impossible Girl.
Satonaka Chie from Persona 4, Hitoshura’s Waifu
Sit down on uncle’s lap son because I’m about to tell you how I met muh waifu. You know how they say the more you like a person’s personality the more everything about them starts to look positive in your eyes? I’d say that’s pretty much my story. Coming into Persona 4 I never really thought any of the characters were waifu material. I’ve seen box arts, screen shots, and none. I played the game and realized that I had a shared interest with Chie and suddenly she was best girl and even the sun shone out her butt. Chie’s love for martial arts and mimicry of Bruce Lee’s mannerisms just sold it for me. Did I mention steak?
Your social links with Chie usually consists of training and eating. Usually eating meat. No, not that. Get your head outta the gutter. She’s bro and waifu in one physical manifestation. Her dedication to her craft of honing her body to be as strong as it can be is something I can identify with. She’s bright, cheerful, and is not afraid to speak her mind. Most importantly, Chie has a heart of gold. She’s not afraid of sticking up for the little guy as she’s known for coming to the aid of those who are bullied.
Chie: workout buddy, foodtrip friend, and all-around best girl.
Ayase Eli, Rika’s Waifu
It was love at first sight, really. Which is strange because I’m usually a redhead kind of girl, but wow did this lady blow me away. Eli is a 17 year old student at Otonokizaka High School, and she’s the student council president. She’s a half-Russian half-Japanese ballerina princess who is flawless at everything. When she was younger, she was affectionately called, “Cute and clever Elichika” by everyone. And I mean everyone.
Eli is popular among the students of Otonokizaka, and has been scouted for a modeling career countless of times because of her natural grace and beauty. Thank you, Mother Russia. She’s always calm, cool, and collected, and she wants the best for her school. In fact, she makes it her responsibility to save the school when it was being threatened to be shut down. Guess what, she ends up saving it along with eight other students, who cares about them, right?
And lastly, FUCK ALL Y’ALL, MY WAIFU THE BEST. WHY? BECAUSE I SAID SO, AND I’M THE BOSS.